Thursday, February 12, 2009

Heartache

Earlier in the week I stumbled across this blog and my heart has ached ever since.  Little Cora Paige was diagnosed with cancer a little over 3 weeks ago and went to be with Jesus this past weekend.

I just don't understand God or His plans.  Which is one of the reasons I began this blog.  I don't understand why He would take sweet Cora.  She reminds me a lot of Brody with her thunder thighs and chubby round face.  As a parent, I cannot even begin to fathom the pain associated with the loss of a child.  No parent ever expects to lose a child, especially so suddenly and so young. Cora would have celebrated her first birthday next month.  And as a Christian, their experience has reminded me that no one is invincible.  Not even the God-honoring believer.  I suppose not even Christ Himself, who also suffered and died unfairly.

*sigh*

I really don't know what else to write.  Sometimes things affect me so deeply and this is one of those times.  My faith has been shaken and I've been in prayer about this all week.  I almost don't want to admit that this has stirred such grief within me because I am afraid that God will test me in this area.  

I would fail miserably.   

I pray that I never have to walk in Jessica and Joel's shoes.  They have handled Cora's sickness and loss with such grace and steadfast faith in the Lord.  I admire them, I hurt for them, and as a parent I cry with them.  

5 comments:

Scott said...

This is absolutely tragic. I will not even pretend to know what they must be going through. I will definitely be praying for them.

I am a bit unsure about the language of "God taking" their child. While I am not a theologian, I was praying about this and I think that perhaps God is just as sad as they are. Evil exists in this world and is manifest in terrible ways, including disease. I wonder if God considers this a tragedy too and is grieving with them.

Yankee Mama said...

You are so sweet. I feel the same exact way as you. I've been crying just about every single time I think about it.

annamae said...

I thought I'd share a couple things, firstly that just last night I was reading Proverbs 12 and discussed verse 21 with my husband because I was very struck by it. "No real harm befalls the godly, but the wicked have their fill of trouble." focusing in on the first half of this verse, I think this is a beautiful promise from God! When we're walking with Him we view things differently than the world. It doesn't make situations like this any less painful emotionally, but I believe we are more easily comforted by God's presence even in the midst of the trials that life brings. In the beatitudes, Matt. 5:4, it says, "God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
In my opinion, yes, God is saddened when things like this happen, just as we would be heartbroken to watch our children go through something so painful and difficult. But even when we can't understand we can feel peace in the knowledge that "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Rom. 8:28
so, that's my two cents...thanks for your honesty and vulnerability, I think God cherishes it when we come to him with everything, even with questions of why, and doubt. (Isaiah 40! this helped me a lot when my brother lost his son)
I love you Alison and cherish your friendship.

Krystyn said...

I can't even begin to understand how they feel.

And, I don't know that I would do well if I was tested either.

I think that God needed one more angel to be with him. That's the only thing that might make me feel better...but really, I don't at all.

I've had two cousins pass away from cancer at very young ages, and I don't think my aunts will ever be the same.

Tonya Ingram said...

I ran across this blog last week myself and was extremely saddened. She is just precious. Jessica and Joel are amazing. They are walking in the grace of God to get through something like this. I cannot even imagine... I don't want to imagine. She looks so healthy, but apparently cancer was eating away at her tiny body without affecting her appearance. It reminds me of sin in my life. If I live in sin, it eats away at my heart and my soul, and can be fatal if not taken care of. "I would fail miserably" too Allison, if I were tested in this area. My life's motto ... EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON ... that's what I think of in regards to Cora Paige. We will never understand this side of Heaven of why God does what He does. I just know that His ways and thoughts are above ours and I hold on to that.