Friday, June 12, 2009

Our Goodbye

Faith just left about 20 minutes ago.  

It was so hard to buckle her into her carseat one last time.  She just looked at me and smiled. What's really difficult for me is that as far as she knows, I am mommy.  I don't want her to feel abandoned.  I hope she does okay in her new home.  I hope she is cuddled and loved on.  I hope her new foster mom has dark eyes and hair like me so that Faith finds her familiar.  

I miss that sweet baby.  

I had convinced myself that I'd be okay.  After all, I get to sleep through the night again, no more bottles to heat, no more mom-visits, many less diapers to change (Brody is still in diapers so I'm not completely off the hook), so much more time to myself....

But I was wrong.  All that is worth it when you see her sweet little smile.  I cried when she left. And yes, I'm crying now.  I know that its for the best that she is with her big sis. 

I have two sisters and that bond is so special that I cannot imagine my life without them.  And those two girls need to bond.  They are just so sweet.

Luckily, I befriended her mom and we have plans to do a playdate soon.  She gets unsupervised visits now and I know the girls will return to her within the next few months.  Whether they'll stay, I don't know.  But I wanted to be someone she could rely on and turn to if/when things get tough.  

I will continue to pray for this family and I just know that God has big plans for sweet Faith. Thank you for all your prayers, words of encouragement and support.  We so appreciate it.  

10 comments:

annamae said...

aw, I can't even imagine how tough that was, there's just no way to turn off that mothering instinct. I'll be praying for the transition as well. hang in there love.

Xazmin said...

Wow. I admire your family so much. I think what you are doing is so courageous and wonderful.

Krystyn said...

Oh, that has to be so hard.

I'm so glad you were able to befriend her mom and hopefully get to see her again soon.

I'll be thinking about you guys.

Megan Lauriana said...

Ahh, Alison... I'm so sad. I started crying. She is such a sweet baby girl. I will be praying for Faith and her family. I hope that she will be so loved and cherished.

I admire you and Mark so much for opening up your homes and hearts to children that need you. I don't know if I could do it. I would have to keep all of them because it would break my heart to see them leave.

I love you, sis.

Amber Ellis said...

I am praying for you. I know it must be hard. I have so much respect for foster parents. I can't imagine getting so attached to a child, but there are wonderful people like you and your family that make these children's lives better. She will be better for knowing you.

Taryn said...

She's a lucky little girl to have had the opportunity to start off her life with your family. We'll miss her sweet little smile too. (((HUGS)))

Amber said...

I'm so proud of you! You survived your first placement. :0) It's never what you think it will be...you did an amazing job!

Rebecca said...

Faith was lucky to be with you -if even for a short time. Praying that her next Foster Family will love on her as much as you all have - and thankful the girls will be together.

How did Allison and Brody do with the whole experience?

Anonymous said...

Good job, Alison! Proud of you. -Ana

da momma said...

you are an angel and Im praying for yall...thanks for having a heart to share the love iwth babies like Faith and good luck on this show...how fun!!