Our Goodbye

Faith just left about 20 minutes ago.  

It was so hard to buckle her into her carseat one last time.  She just looked at me and smiled. What's really difficult for me is that as far as she knows, I am mommy.  I don't want her to feel abandoned.  I hope she does okay in her new home.  I hope she is cuddled and loved on.  I hope her new foster mom has dark eyes and hair like me so that Faith finds her familiar.  

I miss that sweet baby.  

I had convinced myself that I'd be okay.  After all, I get to sleep through the night again, no more bottles to heat, no more mom-visits, many less diapers to change (Brody is still in diapers so I'm not completely off the hook), so much more time to myself....

But I was wrong.  All that is worth it when you see her sweet little smile.  I cried when she left. And yes, I'm crying now.  I know that its for the best that she is with her big sis. 

I have two sisters and that bond is so special that I cannot imagine my life without them.  And those two girls need to bond.  They are just so sweet.

Luckily, I befriended her mom and we have plans to do a playdate soon.  She gets unsupervised visits now and I know the girls will return to her within the next few months.  Whether they'll stay, I don't know.  But I wanted to be someone she could rely on and turn to if/when things get tough.  

I will continue to pray for this family and I just know that God has big plans for sweet Faith. Thank you for all your prayers, words of encouragement and support.  We so appreciate it.